One week in Maui:
What was your morning routine?
Every morning, I’d get up while it was still dark, make some coffee, and settle in for several episodes of The Golden Girls. Turns out, it’s a great show! Hilarious, biting, perverted –those ol’ gals sure know how to make this ol’ gal laugh. It was recommended to me by a few people, but I resisted. I mean, come on, a show about old white ladies? No, thanks. But by the time I could count all the times they uttered the word “slut” on two hands, I was hooked.
Of course when the daily morning marathon of The GG had finished, the sun was out and the heat was high, and I’m pretty sure that most of the runners had already gone out and completed their workouts. But I’m also pretty sure that most of the runners had already seen The GG decades ago.
Which Golden Girl(s) are you?
According to a very close friend and big fan of the show, I’m Dorothy, with a layer of Sophia.
How hot was it?
When I finally did get out to run, most days it got up to 30 degrees, often feeling hotter than that. There wasn’t much shade along the highway where I ran, and I’d say I went from a 21 to a 27 in less than a week.
Does it pay to be short?
Yes. Sometimes. It was often very windy, and when we took turns blocking and drafting in a two-man pack, I, 5’4″, actually received a benefit, whereas someone who is 6’1″ would not. I still took my turn pulling. It would’ve been rude not to.
What if you don’t want to run on the highway?
Then don’t. I’d suggest the loop in Makawao Forest, which about 10k with 600m in elevation. It was at least 10 degrees cooler in the forest. Keep your eye out for the “Secret Trail”, which was marked with a sign. Shhh.
What was delicious?
There were a lot of delicious things to eat Maui. In the first town, my favourite take-out place was Coconuts. The poke bowl was amazing and came with some of the best wasabi I’ve ever had. It was legit. There was also a café on the side of the road, beside a fruit stand that sold giant avocados, and their sandwiches were delicious. They also had a salad with charred brussel sprouts and a poppy seed citrus dressing that was really great.
On the Road to Hana drive, we stopped by a small stand, known as Halfway to Hana. They sold banana bread, I think the best I’ve ever had; it was dense, moist, and heavy in your hands. It was also halfway to Hana.
At the second town, there were also a bunch of great places to eat. The Kuau Store had great poke, served on brown rice; Tobi’s Shave Ice had delicious acai bowls with granola, fresh berries, and coconut; Mama’s Fish House was a nice treat for the last night’s dinner and featured freshly caught seafood, a great location (right on the beach!), and had been visited by one Kelly Gruber himself.
Do the roosters have large talons?
I never let myself get close enough to one to check out the size of their talons, but I was assuming yes. There were roosters everywhere. Eating outside of Coconuts, they would be skittering about, common as the city squirrel or pigeon. I frankly, was terrified. Birds have the advantage.
There were also mongoose everywhere, and I tried to get up close to one at the Wai’anapanapa State Park (the blow-hole is a can’t miss attraction there as most blow-holes are), but was wisely advised not to put my face so close to it. According to the narrator on the Road to Hana audio guide, the mongoose had be introduced to Maui to curb the rat population. There’s something in their pee that can be deadly to humans.
Should I go to Maui?
Should I fly with United Airlines?
Is every pool noodle for public use?
Also no. It would be advisable to ask if the pool noodle by the pool side is someone’s personal noodle before lodging it between your legs, seahorse-style, in an attempt to pool run.